Paddy and Seamus are sitting in a small town bar. 6 years ago. paddy: yes i havent changed my mind (2) paddy and murphy are walking down the street paddy : murphy u stink!!! The slide operator tells them when they slide down, whatever they shout out for is what they will land in at the bottom. Paddy Scotsman goes next and screams "Silver!" Paddy missed the tube and Seamus came on the bus! so … I thought that London was supposed to be expensive but that shop is as cheap as chips, so it is." When they got home, Paddy turned to Murphy and said, "Murphy, how we gonna tell who owns which pig?" Murphy says, "Well Paddy, I'll cut one a ta' ears off my pig, and ten we can tell 'em apart." To be honest, I wasn’t sure what kind of reaction they would get, surprisingly the jokes … and lands in gold. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.  Paddy and Mick go to London to donate sperm. says Paddy, to which Murphy replies "don't be bloody stupid Paddy, it's not addressed to you!!!" The tally. a friendly paddy and murphy joke every one will like. Every 30 seconds or so the one being dangled shouts "Pull Me Up" and he has … Paddy and Seamus went to London to become sperm donors. Paddy and Murphy went out one day and each bought a pig. Paddy and Murphy went out one day and each bought a pig. See more ideas about paddy jokes, jokes, irish jokes. Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site. Joke description: Paddy and Murphy are havin' a pint in the pub, when some scuba divers come on the TV. As I am sure we have all heard at least 1 Paddy and Mick joke. Paddy and Murphy went Fishing, been by the River all day, tried every Trick in the Book and not so much as a Bite. Feb 9, 2019 - Explore Brett Mitchell's board "Paddy jokes" on Pinterest. Afterward, Paddy rings Murphy and asks him ‘How the f*ck did you know that? 367. As Paddy made his way up the steps of his doctor’s office he was met by the sight of a young nun leaning against the railings in full nun’s outfit … Paddy and Murphy Went to London After walking in the city centre for few minutes, Paddy turns to Murphy with a look of amazement on his face and says: "Murphy, will you have a look at that shop over there. Paddy Murphy Walks Ino his Local Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. Paddy says to Murphy "I'm … Irish Day Off Jokes. Paddy says to Murphy, “Well, buddy, I’m going to get a day off by pretending to be mad!” … Top 40 Of The Funniest Irish Jokes (With New Paddy And Murphy Jokes) Share this 🍀😍Irish jokes are famous across the world, some good and some bad. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts! Saved by Mary Cox. The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink. Funny Irish Jokes Funny Puns Hilarious Irish Humor Funny Stuff Funny Humour Silly Jokes Funny Captions Paddy Jokes. Paddy's and Murphy's Pigs. When they got home, Paddy turned to Murphy and said, "Murphy, how we gonna tell who owns which pig?" Archived. Funny Irish Jokes. Paddy says to Mick, “If you can guess how many doughnuts are in my bag, you can have them both.” 8. Murphy thinks for a minute then says, "That's easy. A few hours into work, Paddy tells Murphy he wants to get the day off. Paddy missed the tube and Mick came on the bus! ) Paddy and Murphy are walking along a river when they see 2 men on a bridge.One man is holding the ankles of the other man who is dangling off the bridge and scooping lots of fish out of the river below with his bare hands.Wow they think and decide to give it a go themselves. Paddy, Murphy & Mick jokes. Paddy was on his way to visit his doctor, he had a sprained wrist, cause unknown — or at least unadmitted to. 5. Paddy and Murphy. Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. Posted by. Murphy answers ‘be jesus Paddy, it’s a cuckoo 100%.’ – Paddy wins the million pounds and is very happy. Two best friends, Paddy and Murphy, are working on the site of an office building. It was a disaster! They pack up and walking back to the Bridge they see one bloke holding his mate off the Bridge into the Water. Paddy says, "Murphy, why is it them deep sea divers always sit on the side of the boat with them air tanks on their backs, and fall backwards out of the boat?" Paddy and Mick are walking down the road and Paddy's got a bag of doughnuts in his hand. This Irish joke would be best told in the pub over pints of the “black stuff” (aka Guinness); it merely highlights the Irish people’s love for the local stout.. One night, Mrs McMillen answers the door to see her husband’s best friend, Paddy, standing on the doorstep. a friendly paddy and murphy joke every one will like. u/olddad67. Close. A Facebook page that is full of humour, please feel free to write down your own paddy and Murphy jokes on this page :D "Ah, tat'd be grand," says Paddy. Paddy and Murphy Enjoy a Day Off. Paddy & Murphy buy two Horses posted 25 Feb 2011, 09:32 by Neve.Music@live.co.uk Paddy and Murphy bought two horses, they put the two horses in a field and to tell which horse belonged to who, Paddy suggested that they attach a red ribbon to his horse. There are some paddy corn jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. They find a nice bridge then Paddy holds Murphy over the bridge by his ankles and Murphy … -----oOOo-(_)-oOOo----- A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. For the past 30 days, I have been sharing an Irish joke every day on my Facebook page. Sep 25, 2019 - Explore Mel Quinn's board "paddy jokes" on Pinterest. He asks a girl "how bout a sh*g?" "but it'll explode!" 17K likes. Murphy says, "Well Paddy, I'll cut one a ta' ears off my pig, and ten we can tell 'em apart." “I’m gonna’ pretend I’ve gone mad!” So Paddy climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down, and shouts “I’m a light bulb, I’m a light bulb!” as Murphy watches in astonishment. 538. 1 decade ago. Press J to jump to the feed. Following is our collection of Paddy jokes which are very funny. Paddy ordered a whisky. She replies "i'm on my menstrual cycle" "Great" says Paddy "I'm on my scooter, i'll follow you home!!" 423 talking about this. Paddy and Murphy … "What happened to you" asks Sean, the bartender? have you poohd your self murphy: no paddy: u sure ? Here are just a few to get the ball rolling. Some may be GOOD some may be C**P .. Paddy and Murphy...are working on a building site. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts ... Paddy and Murphy. Paddy was that kind of Irish middle-aged bachelor. "Except me mammy, of course!" The lack of punchline is the punchline. Wishes Three guys – one Irish, one English, and one Scottish – are out walking along the beach together one day. Paddy Englishman goes first and yells "Gold!" See more ideas about paddy jokes, irish jokes, irish funny. Murphy replies ‘ Well, Paddy yer thick git…it lives in a f*cking clock…’ Paddy and Murphy walking down the road. Some people might find some of these Irish jokes offensive or in bad taste. A quick paddy and murphy joke? pull your trousers down let me look murphy pulled down his trousers and sure enough therre's the poo paddy : you liar murphy … It was a disaster! A Facebook page that is full of humour, please feel free to write down your own paddy and Murphy jokes on this page :D To those people, I would like to say “piss off.” This is my heritage, I love all Irish people, and I love funny Irish jokes. u really stink ! I thought this would be a good place to compile all the various Paddy & Mick jokes. HeeHee, and my other is: Paddy is in a disco. Murphy then says, “You stupid twat that’s me!” Paddy Englishman, Paddy Scotchman and Paddy Irishman come across a magic slide. Paddy brags: "You know, I've had every woman in this town. Tell me your irish jokes - the joke … Paddy doesn’t know so he calls his friend Murphy. See whole joke: Paddy and Murphy were doing a crossword. Paddy ...continued on Unijokes.com (1) paddy goes into a bar paddy: can i have a pint of orange bartender:still? Paddy finds a mirror, looks at it and says, “I’m sure I’ve seen this man before!” and then passes it to Murphy. "Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight", says Paddy. Paddy & Mick are walking down the street Paddy falls down a hole Mick … "Ah, tat'd be grand," says Paddy. And for many, many more funny Irish jokes, you can always visit our main section on Irish jokes here!